13 Words That Sound Naughty But Really Aren't
1. PENAL
(subject to punishment of crimes)
Is it a penal offense for men to stroll naked on the beach?
2. CONDIMENT
(substance used to enrich the flavor of foods)
It was too late to tell her I forgot to use any type of condiment.
3. CIRCUMSCRIBE
(restrict)
My escape from the hospital was thwarted when the doctors circumscribed me.
4. MASTICATE
(chew)
I furiously masticated the babysitter's sweet candy before my wife returned home with the groceries.
5. FARTLEK
(training technique for runners)
The young men were supposed to stay packed together, but the fartlek was particularly intense.
6. MANHOLE
(covered opening)
In his new position, Rodney provided his crew with safe entrance to his manhole.
[He's a city public works employee with responsibilities.]
7. SPOTTED DICK
(British pudding (dessert))
Buck proudly presented his spotted dick to Kitty and she gobbled it down with a smile.
8. GESTICULATE
(to use gestures for emphasize words or instead of speaking)
The subway passengers sat uncomfortably while the homeless man's dirty coat swung open from his wild gesticulations.
9. SEXAGENARIAN
(person in their 60s)
Now that she was a sexagenarian, she decided to forgo birth control altogether.
10. DICTATION
(speaking words to be transcribed or recorded)
Feeling powerful, he leaned back and allowed his secretary to take his dictation.
11. PIANIST
(person who plays the piano)
[I had to steal at least one from The Simpsons – the rest are my invention.]
"This guy walks into a bar, he takes out a tiny piano and a twelve inch pianist, oh, no, wait, I can't tell that one!" -Krusty the Clown
12. ANGINA
(intense chest pain)
I know the doctors say your angina looks really bad right now, but do we really have to stop loving each other?
13. TITTER (giggle)
Rebecca couldn't suppress her nervous titters after she spilled frigid iced tea on her white shirt.
Do you have any favorite words that sound funny, are fun to pronounce, or sound dirty like these?
Masticate is my all time favorite. I love masticating in public but I feel really self-conscious when I masticate at a red light, especially if there's a banana involved.
ReplyDeleteLOL! Clearly you win :-) I showed up to a gun fight with a knife. But how can I compete with somebody called "The Sarcasm Goddess"?
ReplyDeleteInnuendos are so much fun!
Love this post! You said "fartlek." Heh.
ReplyDeleteYou don't even need a word that *sounds* naughty to embarrass yourself in front of a class. Once, during a lesson on delivering speeches, I simply paused at the wrong time:
"Today I'm going to teach you how to give good oral . . . presentations."
Know any high school sophomores? Imagine 38 of them in a room, and there you have it.
And I agree--you win, Sarcasm Goddess! Well played.
That's classic! Great way to get some impromptu parent-teacher conferences sprung on you :-)
DeleteDid you just use the word "sprung" in response to "oral...presentations"? :)
DeleteI did! And I don't feel the least bit naughty ;-)
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